"Because you felt you had something to brag about and now you don't."
This was the answer given when I mentioned to a friend that I was confused why I wasn't writing anymore. We were having a BFF moment a few weeks ago, pouring our hearts out about the mistakes and lessons we've experienced. Imagine the *side-eye* I gave her when she said this. Moments later I conceded. She was correct.
When I used to write from London, my blog was filled with wonderful stories of international travel, exotic food and eye-opening cultural experiences. When I moved to LA, I dimmed my light (or ignited it, however you choose to see it). Nothing happened immediately, there were many people I met my first few months here, who saw only the surface image. I can't blame them, I came to LA with a lot of bravado.
The hair, the great apartment, the clothing, the Brand New, Red Jeep (with personalized license plate) all became my identity. I was a self-created brand. Everywhere I went, people were drawn to me. I publicly ate it all up. Privately, I was a wreck. The money was slipping away and emotionally I was afraid and suffering. It wasn't until I lost everything that I decided to unclose my eyes and take responsibility.