I met with a friend I haven't seen in awhile and from the moment we sat down I could feel her unspoken pain. She didn't have to say anything for me to see that there was a lot going on. Without a nudge from me she inevitably began voicing her relationship concerns. She mentioned that the only person she had to talk to was the ex.
Sidebar: the Universe is completely self-organizing, for that was my situation as well. Sometimes as correct as they can be, you can't exactly "hear" the ex when they are encouraging you to find your path. That's what friends are for.
As she spoke I heard inflections of my past relationships. She spoke of her desire to be with someone that equally wanted to be with her, she spoke of her failed attempts to love and she spoke of how difficult letting someone go is/was. I listened carefully as she echoed my sentiments. But so much beating up on yourself can wear a soul down. Gently, I began sharing my story and how through meditation and daily, self- loving exercises I am finding peace with the unknown. Most of all, I encouraged her to STOP the assault on herself, "It clouds your growth." I heard myself offering kind, loving advise and I had a moment of envy.
You see, I never had anyone to confide in, specifically during my most recent break up. I didn't trust that I would receive an unbiased opinion. People- even those who knew both of us, were so judgemental. It was never my intention to bash the ex. I simply wanted to heal. And this is where I learned to trust God. I relied on the infinite to guide me through a space I had visited often but no longer cared to frequent; the fear of the unknown. I also had to learn to accept vulnerability as this is what prevented me from sharing. And in that moment, I could see, that that's what my friend desired as well. I saw the fear of time in her. I saw her impatience with the process and most of all, I saw the longing to be with the person that didn't want to be with her. That's a tough one to release. I shared my biggest lesson in letting go, which is: the hardest thing to get over is being rejected by the same person twice. And then I wondered aloud if she could see that she was responsible for her happiness?
In many ways she needed to hear these things. It was a hard swallow and I'm sure she will be overflowing in thought for the next few days. But it was important (for me) as expressing these feelings and emotions aloud gave me permission to see my growth.
And then I encouraged her to read Marianne Williamson because that woman is THE TRUTH!