Hey Girl

I'm a Girlie-Girl. I love make-up, perfume, scented candles, bubble baths by candle light, flowers, birthday surprises, anytime surprises, Anthropologie, pretty lingerie -but not thongs, romantic dinners by candle light, kisses on my neck, a gentle rub on my leg and hand-holding (but only inside- NOT walking down the street...blah).

I'm writing this because I had an epiphany. A powerful one...I am a woman and I am so happy to be a woman (even with the hormonal casserole, churning inside me). As I climb closer to forty (I'm a few years away) and as I experience various levels of heartache, I'm reminded of my feminine power.

My mother and I recently had a conversation where we were speaking about the strength of my best friend. With all that she has endured and concurred, my mother went onto say that S - my bff, was tough. She stated, "You're not tough, you are courageous, but not tough" meaning me. Hmm...this uneasily sat with me for awhile. My ego was bruised as I considered her theory. Until it hit me. 

I cry privately and publicly, I laugh (alot), I live in optimism and I am insanely extroverted. Most notably I am emotional and I wear it on my sleeve. Considering this, I can see how my mother and many others would generate the theory that I am not tough. Tough isn't the first word you think of when you think of me. But don't get it twisted...

It may take me awhile to get there, but when I have to be tough and take a stand for myself...I DO! However, I lead with romance and fairly tales, I believe in happily ever after and I get school-girl giddy when I have a crush. I speak with my hands, I am touchy -feely when in conversation and I think being in Love is a wonderful feeling...especially during the bad, I- can't- stand- you- right- now- but- I- can't- leave- you- right- now times. 

I have had my heart broken for loving too hard and I used to hate myself for it. I've finally accepted that when it's the right person, they will be open to what I have to offer. I've also learned that when they aren't...don't waste your time and allow them to make you feel small. Very hard lesson.

Now tell me I ain't tough!

1 comment:

  1. Interest contrast between toughness and courage. I totally think you are courageous. And it seems like you always pick yourself off the mat and answer the bell so seems to me like you are just as tough too!