Lady's Wedding!

One of my best friends got married this weekend. Being back in Jersey and seeing so many people that I've grown up with has been one of the best times that I've come back. I've experienced alot of differing emotions this weekend. 

Lady (my bff) has been in my life since I was 9 years old. We've watched each other in relationships, out of relationships, move around the world, have children, not have children and just plain cried on one anothers shoulders and boy have we laughed! Soo many laughs, even as I was doing her makeup for the wedding, we were cracking up! Good times!

Lady has taught me how not to judge people. She is that friend that you don't talk to for a month yet when you re-connect, it's as if we haven't missed a beat. I'm fortunate, so fortunate. And she has a lot of friends, yet never makes you feel slighted. Beautifu!

Lady is as pure inside as she is outside and one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. In fact, over the past few months Lady has listened to me as I personally go through a wealth of self-discoveries and...she never judges. The irony of this is that Lady and I grew up together in church.

I've mentioned it here before: we were exposed to some deep-rooted Christian principles. We spent half our week in church and twice on Sundays. If we lived according to those "rules" neither of us would be in this place today: touching upon 40 with abundant tales of pain and pleasure and the road in between.

Lady, Lady....Love Ya Friend! I do!

To My Friends...

I've been trying to find the right words to say to my friends. Friends that I ignored for awhile. Friends that never let me get far. People that called and I refused to answer, then kept calling until I did. I am really, really blessed and now that I'm finally in a clear -headed space, I am so grateful that God put these individuals in my life. So here's how I explain it...

I hope that through sharing my experiences, I can both heal myself and inspire someone out there to become unstuck. I'm mature enough to finally understand that we are all connected and if there is something for me to give, then someone out there is in need of receiving. It is our obligation to show up for our lives and then help someone show up for theirs. It's taken me a long time to get this, to fully encompass this theory. With all of the running from myself, I missed important moments to grow. Then I realize, I didn't miss a damn thing! We reach that point in our own time. The key, as I've mentioned, is to not abuse ourselves thereafter. That's a toughy-at least for me. 

I took on fighting a battle to understand myself with myself. Too much for one person. I was finally forced to try forgiving myself, and that has become my process. I can tell ya, it's a hell-of-a lot easier with this approach. 

My process involved a year and a half sabbatical to London followed by a few years in the ring with Los Angeles. Financial, emotional and physical difficulties forced me to STOP! But it hasn't all been misery. If I remove the smoke-filled glasses, I can see that, in fact, it's all been a blessing. It's all in the way you view the world and I am choosing the path of least suffering. 

When I became clear enough to view the trail I created, I was so ashamed. I looked back and saw the mounds of clutter that I accumulated over my lifetime and added to them with self-sabotage. Important relationships took a back seat in the name of getting my ish together. I've since learned to stop throwing people away. True friends walk with you on your journey. But first, you must acknowledge that your load is heavy. Or in my case, you simply disappear, they'll know that something is up. Some friends I lost, many came back around and random new people stepped in. It's been a wonderful blessing in disguise. 

Journey with me. Hold my hand and I'll hold yours back. After all, it takes a village...

Good Friends Make All The Difference

A good friend of mine knew I was having a bad day yesterday and she swooped in and surprised me with this. Isn't it beautiful? It's filled with some of my favorite candles and body creams from Tocca and Laura Mercier!

That definitely cheered me up!