1.6.11

Eureka

I'm about to tell you a true story. It's not that serious so I really don't know why I've started this entry with this tone. But away we go... (which was a great movie. Have you seen it?)


I awoke today and as if someone was whispering in my ear I heard, "This is what you want to do." A serene comfort quickly followed and I knew, yes, writing is indeed what I want to do. My next thought was a quote from Oprah's final episode. 


She had so many nuggets there but the one I'm speaking of is about the whispers we hear yet choose not to acknowledge. We all experience them. Well, peeps, this morning my whispers were yelling to me... LOUDLY!


I go about my morning, check email on my phone without getting out of bed and what do I see? A friend sent me an email that says, "Your Whispers Speak Volumes." (That's the part where I'm telling the truth here.) Can you say...CREEPY! But it really wasn't. It was the whisper that if I chose not to listen, would quickly become a brick upside my head.


After making my morning tea and procrastinating about whether to mediate before continuing to check email or not, I decided to sit and review the remaining emails. I usually try to meditate before getting into the fuss of the world in an effort to prepare myself for what's to come, but another goodie in my inbox was a HuFFPOST notice that an author I follow posted a new article. Great, an excuse to sit in front of the computer longer!


Kristi Anderson's latest article is called How To Cope with Life's Chaos. It's a quick read but what I found most significant was halfway through the article she speaks of...you guessed it, "The Whisper." (Am I in the Twilight Zone or what?!?) 


Here's her quote:


"When I take time to allow space for and articulate my inner whisperings, as one commenter put it, I feel more liberated than vulnerable. "


So ladies and gentlemen, I have been awake for under an hour and I know exactly what my theme for the day is: listen to the whispers. My whisper was an answer to a question I have asked for years, "What am I gonna be when I grow up?" And yes, I am closer to 40, but hell, I'm still growing up. In fact, Toni Morrison, Paulo Coelho, Henry Miller, Laura Ingalls Wilder and many others all published their first books well into their 40's. I digress...


Since my surgery it's become obvious that change is on the horizon. My dreams have been pressuring me to finally bring them to life. Naively, I've sat here and asked "What is the dream?" Duh! The dream has always been the same. Write. The fear has made me believe that I can't. Being here has been a wonderful blessing in disguise. The key now is to hold onto truth. The difficulty for me (and maybe you as well) is to NOT compare myself to anyone else, to know and believe in my talent and realize that I have an authentic voice. I've been writing since I can remember-it used to be called journaling. A friend recently told me that reading this blog is like peeking into my journal. I looked at her crazy. Really? I hadn't thought that...but...I guess? I haven't even shared all the grit of my life, I'm saving that for juicier times. Ha! 


I've always dreamt (that's a weird word: dreamt) of writing books. But what book is there to submit, if I haven't taken the time to write. Another reality bite...write less to get published and more because it's the thing you have to do. That's another whisper, but I hear it this time, like thunder, I hear it. 


And now...I'm off to meditate. 


Have a happy Wednesday wherever you are in the world!

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