1.10.10

The Most Important Person In The World Is Me

The above comment would appear to be an obvious statement from someone who externally, appears to have it all. They have the best clothes, fascinating lives of world travel, a great family and super cool friends.

A few interviews have recently been brought to my attention, one with Beyonce, where the host asked the songstress, "Who's the most important person in the world to you?" Without blinking, Beyonce replied, "Me."

During a separate interview, the amazing designer, Diane Von Furstenberg was asked the same question. Her reply, "My Grandchildren, My children and Myself."

Seeing these answers made me question my response. I can't say that I would have had the same answer. I mean, I know what I should say, but have I truly lived as if I am most important to me? Probably in some areas; definitely not in others.

Maya Angelou has an amazing quote, "You give people permission how to treat you." I learned this phrase at a young age and it has lived with me for decades. However, I never questioned the perception I send. Until recently.

As noted in previous entries, I haven't put self first. I'm sure that to some, I don't value myself. For those that have known me in past lives (or careers, however you phrase it) I appear to be my number one fan. But when stripped of all labels and positions, I haven't honored my life. I've lived for others or with a perception of the way I should live, versus simply BEing. I've modeled myself after the purported "Ideal" woman, instead of being the best I can be. I've allowed people to infiltrate the core of my being and take advantage of my kindness without even a PEEP from me. If I didn't want to do something for someone, I inconvenienced myself and did it anyway. I was afraid to say no for fear of not being accepted or hurting someone's feelings.

The above examples, and many more came to an abrupt halt over the past few months. When life mirrors your actions and those actions DON'T LOOK GOOD, you either do something different or continue on the same destructive path.

I decided to face myself and take a stand for my life. In the process, I've lost and or upset a few folks, admitted some deeply private realities to others and most importantly, I began choosing with myself in mind first. I can't say that any of it is easy. In fact, more often than not, I experience lonely moments. Moments that would have otherwise been filled in the company of people I didn't want to be around have been replaced with moments of self reflection. I'm learning to enjoy the presence of truth and not live according to worldly assumptions.

It's a Hell-of-A Ride, but one I'm committed to journey. I can't wait to ask myself, "Who's the most important person in the world to you?"

2 comments:

  1. I can't wait to ask myself, "Who's the most important person in the world to you?"

    I've learned that this is a critical question and I'm learning to strike a balance between being the most important person to myself and not losing myself in helping others.

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  2. Bravo to you!! I'm sooooooo proud of you & your progress!

    ReplyDelete