People say that when one door closes, another opens. I systematically believe that...sometimes. Sometimes I think it's something people say out of habit. And sometimes I want to believe more than others.
In a 24 hour period I have, in theory, heard both Yes and No from two very important people in my life. Each defining the direction of our friendship. I ponder these conversations and strategically monitor my next step. Ironically, one person I can choose to walk away from, while the other I can walk toward. (God always throws a monkey -wrench in, doesn't he?)
Whether you believe in God or coincidences or making the right or wrong decision...I will share this with you: Love will win.
Because I love each of these people, I am confident that whatever choice I decide, it will come from loving myself first. In the past I would react with a naive glee or out of anger and defense. Each forcing me to exist outside of my true self. Today, I choose a different approach.
Instead of immediately acting on this wave of emotions, I have meditated on what my role in each relationship has been and what the future may entail, either way. On one hand I ask how I have caused such friction. On the other I question the fear that binds me. But here's the secret, I don't sit with either thought for too long. That's where God's grace surfaces. Admittedly, some moments have been easier than others. I trust that when the decision is made, it will be the best decision.
But I know in my heart that whatever the decision, it will not prevent me from continuing with my current status quo. It's taken me a long time to get to this level of self-comfort and when you know better you do better. It's important for me to remember the golden rule: