I'm back to crying at the drop of a dime again. Happy tears, don't know what it is. I'm just super grateful. Or I'm simply PMS'ing. Who knows? I was rummaging through my kitchen cabinets a moment ago, searching for my favorite, loose-leaf tea when I became overwhelmed with gratitude that there's so much food up there. I know what you're thinking,"Who cries over spices and herbs?" But I'm so open right now. A year ago I was in a dark place emotionally and a year before that I was in a dark place financially. So to look in my cabinets and see options is a wonderful thing. But it isn't just the spices and herbs that have me balling.
With age comes a bundle of growth and I'm finally accepting who I am. All around. Romantic, God-loving, fashion-snob, people-lover... I could go on and on. Each of us is akin to a single baseball team; we play every role and some days those roles don't feel so good. During other times they feel wonderful. The acceptance of 'What Is' allows evolution and flow. I have finally reached a point where I accept the moment. If someone didn't call or respond to my telephone call I used to take it personal; would agonize over what I did to disappoint them. Today I sit in a different place. Today, I offer loving thoughts and send kindness their way without expectation.
This same theory applies at work. I've recently been on the receiving end of a few, not-so-nice comments because I go against the grain. Once aware that such words were launched at me, I released blame and said a silent prayer for whatever was in me that caused this reaction from them. Ironically, they ended up apologizing. This was a first and I knew it was only through God's guidance that it even happened.
Another small example:
A few days ago I was in a pretty intense conversation with someone that I care deeply about. This person (who is also God-loving) commented that I didn't love myself. It was a quick remark, not meant to hurt but I immediately checked it. Under no circumstances was I going to allow someone to put that on me. This might have worked months ago when I was fragile and fibroid -filled, but not today. We all have a responsibility to champion ourselves and it's actually the not supporting (and defending) self-love that opposes it. With the most loving intentions and direct eye contact, I simply stated "That's not true, I do love myself." I didn't care if they believed it or not, I knew it. In fact, I KNOW it! We are each born loving ourselves, it's the world that attempts to confuse you.
There you have it, beautiful people. A rant on self-love. Now get out there and continue loving.
Have a wonderful Monday!