I had an epiphany this morning. Here I sit, 5 am, hungover from a few bouts with jet-lag, reading another great find when it occurred to me. It's something I've heard for years yet just this moment have I accepted:
"If you keep telling yourself the same story...You'll keep believing the story you tell yourself."
It's actually not. We all have that voice inside. The voice that makes us believe false remarks about ourselves. The voice that forces us to see life from an unrealistic -usually dark perspective. The voice is so loud that it's imagined to be you, your voice. But it isn't. It's false-belief or ego or pain-body or whatever you want to call it. It's the voice that tells you your dreams are unrealistic or that you are wrong for this or that or worse -that they did you wrong and you should be upset.
The voice creates unreal plots and plays them out like a grand production. And here's the kicker: that voice is strategic. It attacks when you are most vulnerable. It could be alcohol induced or in the midst of your fatigue, during PMS or, as is my case, when you are jet-lagged and various other clever approaches. I think I hear you asking how the voice can be conquered? I knew you'd ask this.
It takes work, focus and commitment...like anything else in life. However, with a simple acknowledgement, you can quiet the voice. The first step is discerning the difference between your voice and your truth. And that my friends, is a whole other blog (or read A New Earth- that book is the truth maaan).
My approach to living despite the dark voice is to know what is real and what isn't. Harsh thoughts about yourself are not real. Blame and judgement isn't real. Telling yourself that you are unworthy -not real. And oh, the stories in our heads - full of vivid scenarios and locations and colorful conversations-nope!
I've only been able to recognize my truth over the past year. I got so low on myself and so frustrated with my history of perceived "brokenness" that I had to separate what I believed about myself from what I knew to be, rock-bottomed truth. Imagine, living almost 30-something years in a veiled fantasy? Knowing this... that you've lived your life believing a fabrication- can you finally forgive yourself? Can you delicately say, "I'm alright. In fact, I'm better than alright. I'm great!
That's where you start your process of evolution. It will become your modus operandi. And it will make your life so much richer. You'll begin living without judgement and outside of fear-based thinking. Try it...you'll see.
Other books that have helped me on my journey:
A Return To Love- Marianne Williamson
Eat Pray Love- Elizabeth Gilbert
The Alchemist - Paulo Coehlo
The Zahir - Paulo Coehlo
Veronika Decides To Die - Paulo Coehlo
and many more...