Instead of focusing on the fact that I'll be unconscious and cut open on an operating table while someone removes a few, melon-sized tumors from my belly, I'm wondering what the hell am I going to wear in the hospital?
Is it like packing an overnight bag? The kind I used to pack when I slept over my best friends house? Maybe it's more proper, like a hotel? But wait...there's no cool restaurants, romantic dinners or executive meetings involved. Should I bring my computer? Can I blog?
People are telling me I'll be in so much pain that I won't get out of bed for two days. Who wants to hear that?! Speaking of...why do I have to stay in the hospital for 2 days?! So what the nurses need to monitor me and make certain that I turn over and walk a little bit. But hell, let me save the money and have my mom put me through that. Afterall, she's a nurse.
Sidebar- my mother says she doesn't want to leave my side while I'm in the hospital, she mentioned that the hospital will provide her with a cot to sleep next to me . When I told her that I better remember to bring sweats (because I'm not a hospital night-gown kinda gal) she said she was bringing some too. Uhh...My. Mother. Is. Going. To. Be. In. My. Face. NON-STOP...FOR 5 DAYS! Is that a good thing?
These thoughts are bouncing around my head as I draw closer to the day. Thoughts such as, "What if I can't put my contacts in and I forget my glasses? I'm nearly blind without my lens" Again, I hear those voices, "You'll be in too much pain to focus on anything." Pain? Why would I want to think about that?
I've spent the past few days trying to understand exactly what the healing process is.
Then it came to me...
***Warning-Graphic Content forthcoming, so DUDES beware***
I'll be stitched up outside and inside my abdomen to re-adjust my internal organs. Can you say...OUCH!
Sure, I'll loose this belly-lump I've been complaining about and finally get closer to my six-pack, but internal stitches? Yikes!!!
There you have it folks. A little vain, am I? (That's my Yoda talk). Yeah vanity has always followed me. Oh well. But seriously?
What the Hell Am I Going To Wear To Surgery!?