I asked God why I'm made this way. These are the questions when I can't exceed my ache. Why is my heart as tender as glass while some have hearts of steel? I look at others and became sick with envy. I watch as cold hearts became immune in the blink of an eye. I notice how cruelty transferred from soul to soul, leaving shattered shards behind. I watched people in pain launch evil towards others with no regard for the sting. I cringed as some said unkind things- in the name of self-righteousness. I want to be the girl who can flick the switch and shut love down. I hated my humility.
I demanded an answer
And then I looked at myself. I saw my compassion, the warmth of my spirit began to surface. I learned that I was incapable of containing anger and spewing rage. I noticed how self-aware I was. I stopped apologizing for my love. I watched as I appreciated my strengths, and bravely acknowledged my emotions. I learned that my meekness wasn't weakness; my resistance, not defensive. My soul was justified.
The inspection deepened
I recognized that I was special, made with an open heart ready to overflow with unconditional love, and with dignity intact, I continued on the path I was placed here for: to share that love with anyone brave enough to join me on this journey.
I then stopped asking why I was made this way... and began loving myself even more because of it.